romantic acid

The Unattainable Heart of Kiritani Shuuji - Chapter Two

2007-08-09T00:03:24Z

Title: The Unattainable Heart of Kiritani Shuuji
Author: romantic_acid
Pairing: Shuuji/Akira/Nobuta
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Shuuji once told Nobuta that when he learned to love, he'd probably think of her and what she taught him. But that isnt enough for her. However, how can she claim Shuuji's heart, if it belongs to the person she entrusted him to?

Chapter One

---
Chapter Two

As soon as the word was out of Shuuji's mouth, he wanted to take it back. It was as if something inside of him took over at that moment, he hadnt even thought about what he was saying. Akira had kissed him, and he liked it? What on earth was the matter with him? When he was around Akira or Nobuta, he suddenly found himself being more honest than he'd like, but this was a step too far. The volume of his heartbeat seeming to increase, that churning in his stomach, the warmth that spread through him, the slight yearning for more...all the things that had followed Akira's kiss, they were supposed to be kept quiet. Where was this dangerous absent-mindedness coming from? Where was the cool Kiritani Shuuji? Next thing he knew, he'd be yelling "kon" at people and drinking too much soy milk.

All these paranoid thoughts that swam in Shuuji's head, caused him not to notice Akira removing his chin from Shuuji shoulder, going to stand before him and leaning toward Shuuji determinedly. It was only when Akira's hot breath brushed over Shuuji's lips that he snapped out of it, and pushed Akira away. He had just narrowly avoided another unexpected kiss, and it was far too close. Akira didnt really seem offended, but a little confused. Shuuji stared down at the ground, his cheeks tinged pink. One hand was pressed to his mouth, and he was trying to find the words to ask Akira what the hell he was thinking, but he was speechless with shock and those damn feelings were invading his senses again. Akira bent at the knees and lowered his head into Shuuji's line of vision, blinking up at him.

"What's wrong, Shuu~ji-kun?" he asked, finishing the drawn-out version of his friend's name with a silly grin. Shuuji stepped back a bit, and this time Akira looked slightly wounded.

"W-Why do you have to keep doing that?" Shuuji sputtered, his embarrassment surfacing as irritation. He looked Akira in the eye now. "Cant you see that I dont..." Shuuji trailed off, not sure how that sentence should end, and knowing that either way it wouldnt be good. He wanted to be in control, and have the upper hand like he used to. He wanted to be Kiritani Shuuji again, but he realised that the former version of himself had weakened through lack of practice. He was now the careless Shuuji, the predictable Shuuji, the - he grimaced - weak Shuuji.

"Does your stomach hurt?" asked Akira suddenly, and Shuuji flinched as if he'd forgotten he had company. He gave Akira a puzzled glance. "Your face looked funny," Akira elaborated. Shuuji was reminded of Nobuta's old attempts to smile. His eyes widened momentarily, and he looked at his watch. They were slightly late for Nobuta's house already. Shuuji ignored Akira's previous question.
-
"We're late for Nobuta's," he said simply, and forced a calm facade. "You dont want to keep her waiting, do you? Lets go." Shuuji spoke with an air of finality, then turned and started walking in the direction of Nobuta's building. Akira was confused as to what had just happened, and ran clumsily after his friend. He laughed in a silly way as he called:

"But Shuu~ji-" but he was cut off, as Shuuji turned round and said in an abrupt, almost cruel, tone:

"Im done talking about it." The look on Shuuji's face was deadly serious, and he gave Akira a lingering stare before facing away and continuing onward. Akira stood on the spot for a moment, a look on his face that betrayed a mixture of sadness and perplexity. He watched his beloved best friend walk briskly up the street, ears somehow deaf to the cars rushing past, picking up only the scrape of Shuuji's sneakers on the pavement. As if sounds relating to Shuuji were all that mattered. Other times, Akira might have grabbed his chest dramatically and said something about his heart in a loud, infuriating voice. But now, it just hurt. He slowly raised a kon hand to his lips, kissed it, and made the gesture in the direction of the retreating Shuuji. However, he didnt say the word, only wiggled his fingers as if that's all he could do.
---
Nobuta started as she heard a knock on the door. She stared in the direction of the hall, but didnt move for a moment. Her palms were pressed firmly to the table-top, ready to push herself upward, but she stayed still. Suddenly, there was a flash of several things in her mind. Times on the roof with the other two, the haunted house, the pigs from Chile, the tiny dolls that Catherine had given them, and - most vividly - reading in Shuuji's notebook that he was going to choose the flowers on 11-4. Nobuta wondered for a brief moment how he would have dealt with the consequences, had she not called Bando to the front in his place. A second knock on the door got Nobuta's attention, and she stood up and hurried to open it. Before she did, she fell into the old habit of lowering her head, but when she opened the door to see Shuuji and Akira (but more importantly Shuuji), her head seemed to raise of its own accord. Slowly, she looked at him, her dark eyes darting back and forth as she acknowledged his presence. He smiled at her, in a slightly uneasy way, and she turned to look at Akira, who seemed a little less...mad, than usual. Something was amiss.

"Hello," she said softly. She had wanted to greet them smiling, to show Shuuji how far she had come even on her own, but she just couldnt bring herself to do it. The corner of her mouth simply twitched.

"Hey," replied Shuuji, digging his hands in his pockets and grinning. A Kiritani Shuuji grin. What had made that materialize? Akira granted Nobuta a "kon!" She could tell there was something up with both of them. An argument, perhaps? There was a pause, and then Nobuta stood back to permit them entrance. Shuuji and Akira shuffled in, with Akira managing to bang his knee on a small cupboard that was in the hallway. He hopped around in pain for a while, as Shuuji stared wordlessly round the apartment.

"I'll get you something to drink," Nobuta said suddenly, and Shuuji jumped slightly. Nobuta hurried into the kitchen, and Shuuji continued surveying the apartment as the sound of cups and such knocking together filled the room. The apartment was fairly small and basic, and not much light entered the place. It was very much Nobuta, it seemed. Right now, Shuuji was standing in the living space, and to his left was the kitchen, separated from the living room by a beaded curtain. There had been two doors in the hall, and each led to a bedroom, one of which was Nobuta's and the other belonged to her mother and stepfather. Nobuta's room was pretty plain, she didnt have an idols to decorate the walls with. Colour somehow bothered her, and the almost condescending smiles of the beautiful actresses and singers made her feel small and ashamed. She kept her pig and her doll on the table next to her bed, along with the Nobuta pig she had given Aoi. She had somehow been unable to part with it.

Another door opposite the kitchen led to the bathroom, which was fairly small. When she was younger, Nobuta would spend a long time in there, crying softly and tending to injuries caused by the bullies. It had the advantage of a lock, so she wouldnt be disturbed like she could be in her own room. There had been one particular time, one of those moments when she honestly wanted to die, when she had laid down on the bathroom floor, her scratched cheek feeling numb against the cold tiles. A spider had scuttled past her, and she had felt at that moment that she was no better than the creature. She was small, dark and strange and regarded with fear and caution, and nobody wanted her there.
---
Shuuji, Akira and Nobuta sat silently at the table, drinking tea. The TV was switched on, a chat show on the screen. The three of them alternated between small talk and watching the show. It was hard for Shuuji to find something to say when he wasnt helping or producing Nobuta. Right now, she was simply a friend he was visiting, and he almost felt an obligation to be the fake Shuuji. Above all, his mind was plagued with flashbacks to earlier that day. The feeling of Akira's lips on his, and Akira's voice in his ear, asking if he liked it. Most of all, his own answer echoed in his head. Yes. What did all this mean? A friend - a male friend - and Akira at that, had kissed him, and he had liked it? He wasnt sure what was worse: remembering how much the kiss had affected him, or Akira knowing it. And anyway, just what did Akira think of it? Is it so easy to kiss someone like that?

"Why would it be strange?" he asked, "Shuuji and Akira are one! Why wouldnt Shuuji and Akira kiss?"

Akira viewed it so simply. In that case, did it mean that Akira really thought it normal behaviour to kiss a friend? It wasnt inconcievable, of course, given that Akira considers personal boundaries as sacred as a hooker considers virginity. But it wasnt just that, it was the way that Akira had done it. Something about it seemed so...urgent.

Shuuji shivered involuntarily. He had to stop thinking about this now. But how could he? He glanced across the table at Akira, who was talking to Nobuta about how good it would be to see the Tofu Man again. Damn. Shuuji had forgotten that he and Akira would be staying there together that weekend. He needed time by himself to think about this, to get these ridiculous thoughts out of his head. He looked between his two friends, and thought about how honestly Akira had seemed to love Nobuta. Maybe Shuuji really was losing his mind, after all, Akira did love Nobuta. Maybe that was the way...

"Hey guys," Shuuji said, and the two others turned to face him. Shuuji only looked at Nobuta. "I was thinking, tonight's a great night, so I think Im going to go for a walk by myself. In any case, why dont the two of you go out somewhere nice...together?" Nobuta and Akira blinked at Shuuji, and he tried to keep his calm smile steady.

"You mean..." Nobuta trailed off.

"A date," explained Shuuji, and he looked sincerely at them. "Why not?"

---
That concludes chapter two.

I'd like to say for the record, I think my two favourite episodes are the one about 11-4, and the one where Shuuji's popularity falls. The reason being, you really get to see how much he likes Nobuta and Akira in those episodes. The part where you see that he intended to pick flowers over water was so sweet, and the way he crumpled the photo of him and Nobuta when Akira was hugging him. Btw, the scene with Akira and Shuuji after Shuuji is caught threatening Aoi, is probably my favourite scene in the drama.

You know, I love Nobuta so much. I almost feel bad making this Shuuji/Akira, but not quite xD

Comments are encouraged ^^

Various Icons

2007-08-06T10:54:33Z

[6] Dir en grey
[8] the GazettE
[2] alice nine.
[1] SID
[2] Text (Jrock related)
[4] Nobuta wo Produce
[1] Gokusen 2

RULES:
{please credit me}
{comments are love}
{do not hotlink}

and FYI, ironic_sun is also me. So dont think I've stolen these from her, or her from me.

Nobuta wo Produce Fanfiction

2007-08-05T22:24:34Z

Title: The Unattainable Heart of Kiritani Shuuji
Author: romantic_acid
Pairing: Shuuji/Akira/Nobuta
Rating: PG-13 for safety
Summary: Shuuji once told Nobuta that when he learned to love, he'd probably think of her and what she taught him. But that isnt enough for her. However, how can she claim Shuuji's heart, if it belongs to the person she entrusted him to?

-----
It was the summer, and the Tokyo air was hot and sticky. A glance at the clock would confirm that it was 1pm, and in half an hour, Shuuji and Akira would arrive at Nobuta's apartment. It was their first visit to the city since Akira moved away with Shuuji.

At the kitchen table, Nobuta sat, cradling the cup of coffee in her hands. She stared at the brown liquid as though it could provide her with the answers she needed. How to begin? How to act? How to look him in the eye? Nobuta had been nervous plenty of times in her life. She had entered classrooms with her head down, her stomach churning, waiting for the whispers and cruel words to start. What a weird girl. What a scary girl. Isnt that what they all use to say? But now the nerves that plagued her - seeming ten times worse - had nothing to do with bullies. Or perhaps it did, in the sense that the person she was thinking of had taken all that away from her. Shuuji Kiritani had rescued her. Stopped her feeling like she was...drowning. When had she changed - Nobuta wondered - from a girl who could not even trust, or believe in anyone, to a girl who could fall in love? By all rights, Shuuji was the kind of person she would never have imagined herself falling for. On the outside, he was the complete opposite of her. Physically perfect, popular, liked by absolutely everyone. He should have been the kind of guy who picked on her. But then, she knew that inside he wasnt all that he appeared to be. He was like her, in a way. Cynical to begin with, and lonely above all. Nobuta was more grateful to Shuuji than anyone else, she honestly appreciated him. He had cared for her, helped her. And now, she was...

Nobuta just didnt know how to tell him. What to say. She was one of the few people - perhaps there was only Akira and herself - that knew the real Shuuji. She knew that he found it hard to return affection, to understand how to love. He seemed almost afraid of it, the way he tried to push Akira and Nobuta away, when they had so honestly cared for him. But the friendship had changed Shuuji. If anyone deserved to be the one to take the heart of Shuuji Kiritani, shouldnt it be Nobuta? That's how she justified it, at least. After all, who else would he love?

---

The taxi weaved its way through the city streets. Shuuji and Akira sat in silence, a considerable gap existed between them in the back seat of the taxi. For the simple-minded Akira, this was comfortable silence, nothing was wrong. They were going to see Nobuta, and that meant that Shuuji and Akira and Nobuta would be together again! That's how it was supposed to be. He smiled stupidly as he looked out the window at the passing buildings, the speed of the vehicle making his hair messy. However, for Shuuji, the silence was deafening and quite sickening. All he could think of was what happened that morning and what it meant:

Shuuji's lips seemed to tingle. He stared in shock at Akira, who had just pulled back, and Shuuji realised that, yes, Akira had definitely kissed him. Definitely. But...why? Why would he do such a thing? And why did Akira smile at Shuuji like he always did, as though it was no big deal?
"Wh-what did you do that for?" Shuuji stammered, putting a hand to his mouth in disbelief.
"Akira wanted to kiss Shuuji-kun!" Akira replied brightly, his smile not fading. "So Akira did. Why, didnt Shuuji want it?" Shuuji blushed.
"That's..." Shuuji trailed off hopelessly. "That's not-" But suddenly the taxi had pulled up in front of them. Not wishing to deal with this right now, Shuuji got in quickly, his face still hot.

Goddamnit, why didnt Akira seem affected at all? It pissed Shuuji off. He turned in his seat and looked at Akira, who seemed so content. Suddenly, Akira turned and grinned. Shuuji turned away, frowning, with color returning to his cheeks. Akira was confused, and wondered if Shuuji was feeling carsick. Glancing out of the taxi, Shuuji realised they were about a block from Nobuta's building. He had to get this sorted before they arrived, or he'd never be able to act normal around Nobuta.

"Excuse me!" Shuuji said to the driver, "we'll stop here please."

A few seconds later, Shuuji and Akira stood on the sidewalk, the taxi disappearing into the distance. Shuuji sighed, ran a hand through his hair and then turned to Akira, arms folded.

"Now," Shuuji said firmly, "what was that about?" Akira tipped his head to the side, a curious look on his face. At first, Shuuji thought he was being awkward and pretending not to understand. Then he remembered this was Akira, and that he clearly didnt know what he was referring to. Shuuji sighed once more. "You know," he pressed, "that thing this morning. The...kiss." He whispered the word "kiss" like it was a naughty word. Akira smiled sweetly as he understood.

"I told you," he said, "I wanted to kiss Shuuji, so I did." Shuuji was getting frustrated.

"But why?" he demanded. "Why would you just kiss me like that?" Shuuji felt he had to elaborate. "I mean, dont you think it's strange?" Akira looked confused again.

"Why would it be strange?" he asked, "Shuuji and Akira are one! Why wouldnt Shuuji and Akira kiss?" Shuuji was baffled by how simply Akira approached the situation. But he was even more baffled by Akira's next question: "Didnt Shuuji like the kiss?" Akira moved to rest his chin on Shuuji's shoulder.

"Well..." Shuuji paused, blushing again, and realised that there was no way he could lie to Akira. He took a deep breath and answered: "Yes."

-----

That concludes chapter one. Comments are encouraged, please!

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2007-08-02T06:14:57Z

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